Mayhem ensued at the Broadwurst Theatre yesterday, where a crazed wolf broke in during a matinee performance of "Eating Ms. Ridinghood" and escaped with three audience members in his belly. The wolf, according to police reports, was big and bad. The names of the victims have not been released, although they have all been confirmed as women in their early to mid-50s. While the theatre community grieves, some are wondering whether the play's controversial and violent themes have contributed to a rise in similar attacks throughout the city.

Brenda Beehive, who understudies the role of Jill in "Up a Hill, Down a Mountain" at the Pumpwell Theatre, was at home yesterday when her agent called to say that "Up a Hill" star Linda Rhymes had been turned into an Eastern Spadefoot toad. Rumor had it that Rhymes was cursed, but the news still came as a shock to Beehive. "I couldn't believe it," she said this morning, "I mean, I had joked about Linda croaking and me taking over the role, but I never thought it would actually happen!"